Today we celebrate the Excitement's night. I remember when I was child, I used to write a letter to the 3 wise men. I wrote them I was a good child, and I aked them gifts. After some days, the night's 5th of Jauary came soon, and the most of children were pretty nervous. I couldn't sleep thinking about the gifts. In the morning, I always got up early to open the boxes, packets, and play with all gifts. ....
Now all is different. All childs, make the same things, but their gifts are differents. What has never been lost is the excitement about this date.
Grammar:
ReplyDeleteToday we celebrate the Excitement's night. I remember when I was child, I used to write a letter to the 3 Wise Men. I wrote them THAT I was a good child, and I asked them FOR gifts. After some days, the night OF THE 5th of January came soon, and [] most of THE children were pretty nervous. I couldn't sleep thinking about the gifts. In the morning, I always got up early to open the boxes, packets, and play with all THE gifts. ....
Now all is different. All childREN DO the same things, but their gifts are differenT. What has never been lost is the excitement about this date. (good closing sentence)
Style:
Today we celebrate the Night of Excitement. I remember when I was child, I used to write a letter to the THREE Wise Men. I wrote them that I was a good child, and I asked them for gifts. After some days, the night of [] January 5th ARRIVED, and most of the children were pretty nervous. I couldn't sleep thinking about the gifts. In the morning, I always got up early to open the boxes, packAGEs, and play with all the gifts. ....
Now EVERYTHING is different. [] Children do the same things, but their gifts are different. What has never been lost is the excitement about this date.