2018-11-10

Frozen

Yesterday at night I dreamt with a little girl about six years old. We were at a reunion with other people in front of the sea. She held my hand to walk toward the sea while she pronounced some Spanish words. And excited I told her: "¡Oh!... hablas español!”... We get out from that place happy and in the opposite direction of the sea while we keep talking and walking some blocks until we arrived at a door that she knocked... A man opened this door getting up very quickly from his chair... looked at my face he said “Oh!... Don’t be afraid, I’m his grandfather!”... Right away the girl swooned... He picked her up to take her to the next room, where there was a doctor. And worried they told to me: "She has been frozen for many, many years and recently we have awakened her"

2 comments:

  1. Yesterday at night I dreamt [about] a little girl about six years old. We were at a reunion with other people in front of the sea. She held my hand to walk toward the sea while she pronounced some Spanish words. And, excited, I told her: "¡Oh!... hablas español!”... We g[o]t out from that place happy and [went away from] the sea while we k[ept] talking and walking some blocks until we arrived at a door that she knocked [on]... A man opened this door [after] getting up very quickly from his chair... looked at my face [and] said “Oh!... Don’t be afraid, I’m [her] grandfather!”... Right away the girl swooned... He picked her up to take her to the next room, where there was a doctor. And, worried, they told to me: "She has been frozen for many, many years and recently we have awakened her."


    Good vocabulary: knocked, swooned

    I added commas in two places.

    This was good practice, because you had to write about a lot of movement.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Matt! you added commas and many other words that definitely improve the written.

    ReplyDelete

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